By: Brittney
I can still remember every single detail of the day we met, I won’t go into every single detail but it was one of those meetings that you just can’t get out of your head. We had the opportunity to cross each other’s paths many times before but for one reason or another we never did. Events that we were both supposed to attend and then one of us didn’t end up attending sort of thing.
Well the night we met was a mutual friend’s birthday party. We didn’t click right away but had our eye on each other. We ended up spending a better portion of the night (and wee hours of the morning) hiding in the neighborhood talking. It was like we’d known each other forever.
The next morning, when I woke up, I had a text message that read “good morning beautiful here’s my number I just wanted to make sure you had it.”
From that day on we were hooked. I made the 7.5 hour drive to North Carolina the next weekend to see him, and we spent the entire weekend hanging out; staying up late, talking about everything, and getting to know each other. From then on it was constant trips back and forth, countless hours on the phone, and thousands of text messages.
Before I met him, I knew his unit was going to be deploying in the spring, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know it was coming. I had always said I didn’t want to date a military man because deployments would be too hard; however, once I met him I knew that he was the one and that a looming deployment wasn’t going to change that. I had always heard people say, “When you meet that person you just know,” and never believed it, until “I knew.”
We knew deployment day was coming and spent every second that we possibly could together. The weeks leading up to it were filled with laughter and tears, and that sinking feeling in my gut that he was going to be leaving soon. When the day finally came, it was almost too much to handle, but we made it through it and now here we are nearly 2 months into deployment and my daily rituals have sunk in.
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July 6, 2009
I wake up and immediately feel for my phone, my eyes aren’t even fully open yet. No missed calls, no surprise. Refresh my inbox, no emails. No surprise there either because my boy has been on a mission and told me not to expect any communication for a while. Still I can’t help but look in the off chance that there might be something there.
I try to make myself fall back asleep because it’s still pretty early (7 am) I am on vacation visiting family and no one else is going to be up yet. I fall asleep luckily and wind up having a dream that he’s back. I’ve been having a lot of these lately, since its been nearly three weeks with no communication, my mind wonders often.
Waking up again I feel pretty down, I’m missing him bad so I lay there looking at old pictures. Refresh the email one more time and decide its time to get up and enjoy this day. I get up and go downstairs. Aunt’s busy at work, the girls are playing a game, and my dad is checking his email. I decide to go to the gym.
Okay, before deployment “me and gym” was an oxy moron, now I go daily. At the gym I watch some of the MJ madness and listen to a playlist that my boyfriend made for me. I day dream a little about him getting home to a skinnier me and the look on his face when he sees how far I’ve come. I can’t wait! Again with the compulsive email refreshing, I work out listening to the music on my iphone so I’m sure not to miss a call or email.
Now, it’s getting close to one o’clock I head home and grab some lunch. My aunt calls and we’re going out on the boat! Perfect! Boating was just what I needed, some real relaxation and recreation! My favorite R&R. But! not before I checked my phone one more time to see if any new emails came through. I got an email from MSOS, a support board for military significant others, so I checked that out and spent some time on the message boards cheering other girls up, and in turn feeling better myself. This site has been a great thing for me. The girls on there are really encouraging and helpful since I am new to military life.
Now I was ready to go out on the boat! We spent a few hours out on the lake talking, laughing, just having a good time. Got back to the dock and once again refreshed my email – okay, I know it’s getting a little ridiculous here, but it’s become a habit I can’t (and don’t want to) break.
My phone never leaves my side, even when I take a shower I have it sitting next to me. The volume is always up, and it always, I repeat always, has a full charge. Email is basically our only communication so far. We’ve had a couple of phone conversations but they’re usually short and it’s hard to hear each other. In the beginning of deployment, I didn’t refresh my email often, and then when I would check, I would have 15 from him trying to get my attention so we could email back and forth, and I’d missed him. So now it’s constantly on my mind to refresh it.
After the boat it’s dinner time; BBQ outside enjoying the nice weather. While I’m having a good time and trying to keep my mind off things, I can’t help but think how much he would be enjoying what we’re up to, and how much I wish he was there. My phone rang a few times during dinner and I shot up like the chair I was sitting on was on fire, not him, I knew it wouldn’t be him, but still the sound of my phone ringing makes me move. My mind wanders and I start to daydream a little bit while looking at the fire, wondering where he is, what he’s doing. I have mixed emotions these days, from feeling strong and proud of myself to feeling like a total mess.
After dinner, and a few drinks and good conversation, the crowd disperses and it’s time to settle down. Now for my nightly routine. I grab my phone, my laptop and plop down on the couch. On Demand old episodes of Sex and the City, and between time on MSOS – chatting with friends and refreshing my email – I let myself slip into the lives of the Sex and the City girls. This goes on until I’m so tired that I literally cannot keep my eyes open, usually around 2 or 3 am these days.
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Once I’m in bed, I check my email, Facebook, Myspace ,and MSOS one more time from my iPhone; look at my countdown on my phone; and smell the shirt that still smells like him that I sleep in every night. I say a prayer for all the service members. As I lay there, trying to force myself to sleep and not let my mind wonder anymore I pray that I will get to hear from him the next day. I check to make sure that the volume is turned way up on my phone and lay it next to my pillow. Wait, one more time just incase, I check my email.
Brittney
Comments 1
I cannot say enough how much I can relate to this!!! It is a bit ridiculous how much I check my email, check all of his friends' facebooks just in case they're posting pictures, check his ship's facebook page for any type of information or pictures. Any time I am doing anything fun, I feel guilty because I wish he could be there with me…instead of working his ass off and getting no sleep. I also have been busting my ass at the gym because he and I both promised that we would keep each other motivated; it is something that kind of connects us…to know that we're both working towards the same goal to be healthy and fit.
Thank you for posting this!! It helped me a lot 🙂