By: Carly
High school sweethearts? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s where we met, but the traditional saying really doesn’t fit us. We dated, unofficially, off and on throughout high school. His heart immediately belonged to me; mine, not to him. As much as he knew God brought me to him to be in his life forever, I was convinced the opposite. It wasn’t love on my end. It was fun, it was simple, and it was cruel. I knew all along he would be joining the Corps immediately after graduation, as cool as that was, there was no way I was getting attached to someone who was going to be off in WHO KNOWS WHERE, DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT! Nope. Not me.
I broke his heart, and while he was in Hell (aka-boot camp Parris Island), I was enjoying my summer… having fun, flirting, being young and free. He wrote to my friends constantly asking them to have me write him and have me come to his graduation. I wrote him once and decided to go to his graduation because… “Hey, everyone else was going.” The funny thing about love, true, honest LOVE is that it never gives up. And the funny thing about God is, is that He knows exactly what He’s doing… as much as we like to think we’re the ones in control.
After boot camp, we started talking daily, again, on the phone. A long distance friendship turned into a long distance love. On both ends this time. Since October 2004, we have been captured by love and we are still under its spell.
I learned the lingo, I rolled with the punches and I became the girlfriend obsessed with her hunk of a man, who just so happened to be a United States Marine. His first deployment came and I had no clue what I was doing, but I rolled with it anyway. It was such a learning experience and taught the both of us so much about love, life and each other.
Now, here I am, as his wife, going through deployment number 4. And although my heart breaks from missing him so much, I’m used to this. I know what I am doing and I know how to cope.
I wake up, stretch (almost kicking my dog off the bed), reach across to the night stand for my cell… no missed calls. Figures. Communication has sucked this deployment. Once my eyes are open, I’m alive and breathing, I let the dogs out and stumble to the kitchen for my morning cup of coffee. Mmmm, pure joy. I let the dogs back in, plop down on my favorite chair, and check my email. User name. Password. Scan the Inbox, and… oh my gosh! I got one! From him! My heart kicks into overdrive and I’m immediately overcome with joy and butterflies (yes, I still get them.) The email reads, “No time to talk, but know I love you and miss you so much.” Smiling, I think to myself, “I am so blessed.” That’s good enough to get me through another week or so. I am more than awake, now!
I carry on, happily, with my morning routine: enjoying some time with my favorite gals on MSOS, sipping my hazelnut coffee, playing and talking, yes… talking WITH my dogs, straightening up the place and getting ready for the day ahead of me. I hop in the shower; iPod blasting my favorite songs and cell phone within reach. As I’m singing along to Band of Horses, I hear my Paramore ringtone… I hop out of the shower, water still running, shampoo slowly dripping down my face… “ugh, mom.” Bothered, I dry off my phone and continue with my shower and shampoo bottle microphone. Come shower time, I am a professional singer, ha.
My day carries on with errands, friends, and hobbies. I stay busy, it helps me cope. Everything I do, though, everything I see, touch, hear, eat, somehow… reminds me of my husband, even if it’s something as stupid as seeing an annoying seagull… seagulls remind me of Honeymoon Island Beach: Honeymoon Island Beach reminds me of one of my favorite nights with J while he was home on leave. I embrace the memories, smile , and say a quick prayer for J.
I hit the gym later that evening. Gotta have a hot bod for the hubby when he gets home, wink wink. As I look around at all the other sweaty, stinky people I wonder what their life stories are. Truly, I do. I wonder if they have found love, I wonder if they have lost love, I wonder what they do, I just… wonder. Anything and everything.
The news is playing on the gym TV’s. Fox and CNN. I tune in; both completely unattached and attached at the same time. How is that even possible? The recent events in Afghanistan are disturbing and some-what unsettling. My thoughts are consumed with J’s safety. He tells me not to believe the news, but sometimes, I just can’t help it. Although the recent events are unsettling, I gain a sense of pride and confidence. I am married to one of The Few, The Proud, The Marines. Oohrah! I know they are trained exceptionally well and are prepared for anything that comes at them.
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I force myself to not look at the TV any longer. I’ve had my fill. So, completely covered in sweat, I go. It’s pouring down rain outside… great. I don’t even TRY to make a mad dash for the car. Actually, I decide to stroll along, casually. I’m already soaked with sweat… .a little rain ain’t gonna hurt. I laugh out loud, wishing J was with me in this moment.
It’s dinner time! I make a grilled chicken spinach salad. YUMM-O! Before I chow down, I check the email again… nothing. That’s ok. I pour a glass of Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio, sit down at the table and eat with my sister, who is my best friend by the way. We chit chat, ask about each other’s day, laugh, giggle, and enjoy the night.
“So You Think You Can Dance?” is on tonight! We watch it together, weekly, always. I get jealous watching all that talent; I want mad dance skills. I decide I’m going to become a dancer and look up dance studios around the area. Not much luck, on the professional, paid for classes, but I found dance classes for fun and exercise. That works! I get excited about my new development, so I hurry to hop in the shower, clean up and get ready for bed. I want to email J about my new obsession that has yet to be put into play.
I’m In bed again, with my dogs. I grab the laptop and write out my nightly email to him. I wind down every night the same way. Email, journal, MSOS and prayers. My prayers are the most important part of my bed time routine. I have a connection, to God, to Jordan. I ask God to keep him safe… physically, mentally and spiritually. To bring him home to me as soon as He can. To give him strength, courage, and focus, and to bless our marriage. I know my and his needs will be met. I know we both will be fine. We’ll get through this, just like we always do… and will have to do for years to come.
I am thankful for my situation. For the life J and I lead. I’m thankful to have such a loving and supporting husband, amidst the chaos and stress he finds himself in. This is the life I live, and happily, I embrace it.
….I love you, J….
Carly
