Miss You Issues: More Than Messages - Long Distance Relationship Advice

Dear Miss U,

My relationship started when I was 16 he was 17. We met on a website, hit it off, and things were great especially since we both live only 600 miles away. To make things clear, we haven’t actually met. At the time, I was ok with it because I didn’t drive and he didn’t have a car. My mom didn’t know I was in a LDR because when my whole family found out my cousin was in a LDR, my mom and everyone else completely flipped and made it seem unacceptable.

Two years later and she found out and didn’t like the idea but completely brushed it off as if our relationship wasn’t a thing (she expected me to break up with him which obviously I didn’t). I went to his city to go meet him a year and a half into our relationship but at the last minute he cancelled and told me his mom wouldn’t let him (he didn’t have a car). I find myself getting sick and tired of seeing my phone screen; it often gets boring. He says he will come prom day and when I graduate, but it’s a long ways away and I don’t know if I should wait anymore.

Lustful Lady

Dear Lustful Lady,

His mummy won’t let him? Lady, he’s a legal adult and has been for more than a year! Surely he can catch a bus or train, save up for a taxi, bum a ride from a friend or something to come and see you. You already made the effort to meet him, now it’s his turn.

I can’t tell you what to do; I don’t know the guy. Maybe he’s perfect for you in every way except this, or maybe he’s just ok and you’ll be setting yourself free by saying goodbye; I have no way to know. What I do know is that waiting for the sake of waiting is pointless. Life is short and to be invested in people and activities that set your soul on fire.

Tell him gently that you’re not interested in having your love life on pause until you graduate and start planning for a meet as soon as possible. Yes, we’re all busy and money isn’t easy to come by, but when we want something we make it happen. We make the time. We save up the money. We stand up to our parents. I’m all for giving things one last chance, making sure you’ve done everything possible to make it work.

In the meantime, do things to make your LDR fun too; something more than just messages on a phone screen.

Dear Miss U,

I need to use my communication skills more often but I need some sort of tips and advice. For example, when I go pick my little sister up at primary school… The teachers know me because my mum works there and I was a student there. My partner messages me while teachers are talking to me but don’t want to be rude. Is there something I could do?

Alannah

Dear Alannah,

I have a very old fashioned and probably unpopular opinion about this: There’s a time and a place for everything.

If you know you’re about to pick up your sister or do something that’s going to require your focus, send your partner a message saying that you’re not going to be able to reply for a little while. You can resume texting afterwards, or make time somewhere else in your schedule to talk.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

About the Author

Miss U

Miriam Cumming is a writer, witch, and LDR survivor with more than a decade of trans-Pacific experience. She’s currently living in paradise with her one true love and their three little gentlewomen where she indulges in coffee, tattoos, and World of Warcraft. You can learn more about her writing and LDR success from her blog The Wicce Writes.