Ashley Spillers as Emily and Alex Dobrenko starring as Sam in DISTANCE.
I met Lauren on a film set. It was the first movie I’d ever acted in – BLOODY HOMECOMING – a cheesy teen horror movie. She was our makeup artist, and instantly sparks flew. She was funny, and endearing, honest, and way too cool for me (she wore a leather jacket for god’s sake).
Somehow we connected, and when the movie was wrapped and she had to go back to North Carolina, neither of us wanted it to end. So we began to date, long distance. First for a month, then a year, and then three years until we both moved to LA where we continued dating for another 3 years all the way up to this present moment. She is easily the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, though I never in a million years would have guessed our relationship would be the basis of DISTANCE.
People often ask why I created the show, and I answer with something like this: I made Distance because I was fascinated with how technology allows us to love people across the world while, at the same time, fundamentally changing how and through what digital barriers we see those we love.
Jill Solloway, the creator of TRANSPARENT, a truly incredible and inspirational show which you should all watch if you haven’t already, said that every show revolves around a central question. In Transparent, that question is Mort/Maura asking “Will you still love me if?”
In Distance, our central question is “Who do I put first – me or you?”
It is a question important for all relationships, yes, but it is especially important for the LDR. Because all LDR’s face a related and perhaps more important question: “When will this Distance be over,” and to answer that question, someone must usually make a sacrifice. And who should that be? Especially when you both have responsibilities or roots or opportunities in the city you currently live in. More broadly, we must weigh love against something else – work, family, stubbornness – and see which proves victorious. Can both people in the relationship never sacrifice and end up together? Or must the sacrifice lose its meaning and become simply another piece of the strange, magical ride we call love.
It is through my creating this show, and the growth of my relationship that I now wonder if “Who do I put first” is the wrong question, one that unnecessarily creates a fixed hierarchy to ‘me’ and ‘you’, whereas the truth seems more fluid. Our choices evolve as do our needs, and it is our very love for one another that is the boat within which we ride these waves. Sometimes I’ll put me first, and others you. And you’ll do the same. And in the process, through it all, we’ll figure at least some of the other stuff out along the way.
LFAD Forum Discussion About DISTANCE
ABOUT DISTANCE
Accurately representing both sides of the long distance relationship was essential for us, hence the HIS and HER side of each episode. It is through this “choose your own adventure” style of storytelling we hope to help audiences fully understand the differences in experience and perspective by two people in a long distance relationship (and really any relationship).
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