Dear Miss U,
I have been with my partner for over a year now, but, through luck, we have been living together for a year and a half. I know it’s not recommended, but we found that it worked really well for us – we spent a happy time spending almost all our time together – we went to the library together, we cooked together, we chilled together – he became my whole world. However, now, he has gone on an exchange semester abroad. It’s new, but I am struggling – to go from having him here every night (and day) to barely texting. And this is the problem – he is super busy at the moment and I feel like he is not contacting me enough. He’s notoriously bad at keeping in contact (with his friends and family) but I thought I would be special, somehow. He doesn’t say he misses me and it’s always me who suggests to call or asks for pictures or initiates the conversation… [read more]
Focus on Fun
Dear Miss U,
I met this guy 4 years ago. I was 44 and he was 28. I was in a different place back then, so I just enjoyed his company for a week. …In May of 2018, he saw on my Facebook that I was coming to his city. He reached out we saw each other and the chemistry etc. was still there. I went back a month ago and spent the weekend with him and it was great. We both said we’ll miss each other and that I have to come back very soon. I came home we were texting a lot and then I suggested coming back Labor Day Weekend. I didn’t hear a word from him. A full 24 hours went by and I texted “???” to which he responded, “so sorry work is crazy I forgot to respond but I can’t do that weekend I’ve had these plans for a while.” He didn’t suggest another date. So I started getting upset and I drunk texted him a few times very angry saying, “this isn’t going to work you never gave me a backup date.” Then, of course, the next day I regretted it and I apologized. But then he started saying that he didn’t like my mixed messages and crazy texts. I backed off and stopped with those text messages but he has been distant. I sent a text a week ago and now he’s ignoring me… [read more]
LDRs Suck!
Dear Miss U,
I’m a boy from India and she’s from US. She met me online and loves me truly and I love her too. We both cannot live without each other and I wanted to go to the US to meet her and I want to work there and live with her but I don’t know how I can be there. She says it’s hard to go there because you cannot get a job in the US easily. I’m worried now. I don’t know what to do… [read more]
Newly LDRed
Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend and I are in a new LDR. He is abroad for a month and then after that, he will be living 6 hours away from me. I found out that before he left to go abroad he cheated on me. He begged for my forgiveness and told me it was the biggest mistake of his life etc. I love him and I see a future with him and decided to give him a second chance. Now, he’s telling me he thinks he cheated because he’s scared of the LDR and has doubts. He’s afraid of being unhappy and just putting up with it because we love each other. He is feeling hopeless even though I’m planning on moving closer to him within the year… [read more]
There’s no shame in LDRs
Dear Miss U,
Both of us are still living with our parents. He’s from Argentina and I’m from Costa Rica. Both of us have been… scared? to tell our parents since we know they don’t think LDRs are serious or actually work so we haven’t told them anything yet as we are still trying to figure out how to tell them. Recently, I got a job but he hasn’t yet, so it’s been really hard for us to not be talking as much! His brother just got into a fight with his girlfriend and moved back into his house and has to share a room with my boyfriend and since he hasn’t told them yet, we won’t be able to Skype (voice, video) at all basically – just text – and it’s killing me knowing I won’t be able to see his beautiful face every day like we’re used to… How can we make this work or be a little easier on us? Do you have any advice on how to tell our parents? [read more]
Can my relationship be salvaged?
Dear Miss U,
I feel lonely in our relationship and I don’t know whether it’s just because we’re not physically together or that our relationship is going to crap. Jeffery isn’t a normal boyfriend, I guess. He doesn’t text or call me on a regular basis. I often find myself always calling him and/or texting him especially when I know he’s going through something. I feel like he doesn’t put as much effort into our relationship as I am. I am not in a good situation at home and he is like my get away, so I enjoy talking to him every day. Him, not so much. I feel like something is wrong with me because why wouldn’t he want to talk to me? He often tells me that “his world DOES NOT revolve around me” and I really don’t know what that means… [read more]
Maybe You’re Ace
Dear Miss U,
I am a girl who not interested in sex at all. I don’t ever feel like I want to have sex or “cybersex” or whatever they call it. …I always said if I found someone who has everything I love, I wouldn’t mind having a boyfriend, but unfortunately, he is living on the other side of this world when I finally found him. …He is addicted to asking me to have “cybersex” with him. He says that the “cybersex” will make our relationship stronger. I always said, “No, I can’t.” He also promised me that he won’t watch bad things and that he just wants me. He really loves me and even when I say no he doesn’t hurt me and hides his sadness always but I can feel it. It’s an embarrassing problem, I know that. Please give me advice. [read more]
Support Through Illness and Grief
Dear Miss U,
…While a 5 hour drive doesn’t seem far, our lives keep us apart for the moment. I would love nothing more than to drop everything and go to him. Unfortunately, my life will not allow it. We’ve only been dating for 2 months, so we haven’t gotten to the point of getting to know family members. …he got upsetting news that his grandmother is not in good health and her time is limited. I wanted so badly to run to him and give him a hug. I care for him a lot and I want to be supportive. This is my first LDR and I just don’t know how to be the comforting and supportive girlfriend he needs during this time in his life with the space between us. Right now there are 350 mile between us. What can I do? [read more]
Does he love you, or just your money?
Dear Miss U,
I have been in an online relationship for 2 years. He started asking me for money right off and I did help him but now it is coming down to him coming to the US. There is a 7 month waiting period for immigration and that’s only if we do proxy marriage. Immigration told him if we paid $4,500 he could come in 3 months. We don’t have $4,500. He asks me a lot if my dad can help us. My dad says no way and gets angry with him and me for asking. Why does he keep thinking that it is okay to ask my dad and keep going there? My dad has never said yes. I can’t help him anymore either which maybe is why he thinks I will give in… [read more]
Make it Count
Dear Miss U,
Now that I know the sweet taste of living together, being in a LDR doesn’t satisfy me anymore. It hurts a lot to lose those days, and I have started to wish that we could just break up now and get back together in two years (that’s when we’ll be able to close the distance), but who knows what’s going to happen in two years? I want to stay in this relationship, it’s really special, I can’t think of my future with anyone else and nor does he. But it also hurts a lot. How I can I keep going? How can I survive all this pain for two years? [read more]