Dear Miss U,
…I also tend to be hypersexual and or have a high drive however she is somewhere between ace and demi… neither of us has had a serious relationship and we don’t really know what you are supposed to do in one. We both felt an immediate connection and have been very open about respect and affection but being so far apart with different drives and little to no experience, how do we know we are doing the right thing and when do we say it’s a relationship? What do people normally do in a relationship and how does that translate to long distance activities and finally how many of those are sex-based that we would not feel comfortable doing? [read more]
Masturbate, it’s great!
Dear Miss U,
…However, when it comes to me, I don’t get the attention and love that I give, I don’t feel like she listens to my feelings and I told her about that. I feel like I’ve been doing so much to please her, sending money for gifts and school/life, but I am sometimes asking myself, what did I get from her… she has a camera problem with her phone so I couldn’t even get pictures this whole year too. I also have a high sex drive and she told me not to wait for her, but I hate the idea of masturbating alone when I am in a relationship. Which leaves me frustrated because she’s not often horny. Am I being selfish to think I deserve more from her? [read more]
Touch Him With Your Brain
Dear Miss U,
Due to COVID-19 my SO and I are quarantining separately. Usually, we are together at university and the only time we spend apart is over breaks. Even then, it is really no longer than 3 weeks or so of not seeing each other. However, because of everything happening we are long distance. I love him a lot and we are best friends but it has been over two months of not seeing each other. I saw him once for a day and we kept the 6 foot distance with masks and all. It didn’t feel like I was seeing him but rather just a screen with half his face. [read more]
Just Talk To Me!
Dear Miss U,
…So I met this guy online last year January. We clicked, the whole non-stop talking for days on end. I am in Africa and he is in Europe. He was working from home at the time so his hours were flexible as were mine. I traveled to see him in October last year and it was great. We both got added roles at work late last year which reduced the amount of time we had to communicate but we adjusted. He recently started living alone with reduced hours and I thought he would have more time for me. But he started gaming all evenings and weekends. The communication became worse. I expressed my concerns and he apologized and things have improved slightly. He checks in when he wakes up and during the day. Because of the distance, communication is important to me and I don’t think we are communicating, we chat but it does get mundane. I have tried to use apps and conversation starters to spice things up to no avail. An old flame has started texting me (though I know he is bored at home and is using me as a place filler). What worries me is that the “place filler” guy seems to be more interested in my life and how I am doing than my boyfriend. He checks in on me and follows up on how my day has been… [read more]
The Unforgivable
Dear Miss U,
I had cheated on my girlfriend over 2 yrs ago. I am not defending my actions, but I was unaware she had considered us to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend at the time. I apologized over and over again. She cheated on me to get back at me and show me how it feels. I was crushed and heartbroken. I have forgiven her for her actions, as she did it to show me how badly I hurt her. I’ve written her multiple page apology letters, bought her little gifts, tried to set her mind at ease and she just won’t forgive me. [read more]
From One Extreme to Another
Dear Miss U,
My partner and I absolutely adore each other. When we are together, it is unlike anything I have experienced, I truly feel it is special. We have so much in common and have so much fun together going out to different places. We both meet each others’ physical and intellectual needs very well. However, I suffer with anxiety and he has real trouble controlling his anger, especially when we are apart and I am not physically in front of him. Small disagreements quickly spiral into heart wrenching arguments where he makes threats and says really unpleasant things. It’s really confusing because he soon takes it all back and apologizes for his behavior. This has happened multiple times even though we have talked about it and I have made it clear that this kind of behavior is unacceptable, when all I want to do is talk to him calmly and work through any issues we have. He admits he has issues, but up until now hasn’t offered to do anything about it. [read more]
She misses him, so she’s obviously cheating.
Dear Miss U,
So I usually visit my wife 2-3 times a year. For legal immigration reasons, she is not with me at the moment. In less than a month of seeing her, she had an episode where she wouldn’t talk to me then abruptly gave me an ultimatum. Saying that if I couldn’t move to be with her, it was going to end. Mind you, this was a month after seeing and being with her. My question is: is this normal or is something going on that she hasn’t told me? My suspicion is that she’s been seen someone else and maybe it’s getting out of hand. Am I crazy for thinking that? She’s asking me to leave a good job and she knows it may stunt my career. But she says she needs me with her… [read more]
Better Off Friends… Or Strangers?
Dear Miss U,
I am in a LDR and I have spoken to him about communication, and I have some uneasy feelings sometimes. For instance, I have been asking him how his day is going and to stay safe because of all this coronavirus going on. He has to still work which concerns me for his well being. But he is at work with not much work and when I check on him he will respond with a “Oh I’m just looking on my phone,” but he never calls me or texts me first. Sometimes I get a response like 2 hours later which I can understand he is at work, but the problem is when he gets off, I know he is not going to the gym anymore because they are closed temporarily. He won’t respond for hours and I would text again and ask, “Hey is everything ok, are you safe?” After 2 more hours, he would text me and say, “Oh hey I am safe, I made it home I was watching movie with the family.” Not the first time he has done something like this. [read more]
The Most Selfish Move
Dear Miss U,
My partner of 3 years announced he would be moving to Croatia from the UK for work (I knew he applied but didn’t think it would happen). We currently live in his house and he will be renting that out (not to myself as it is too big and expensive for myself and daughter -age 13- to live in and run). I will be honest I was angry with him, called him selfish – said he had no consideration for anyone other than himself, I have calmed down now and trying to see things more positive. He knew I wouldn’t be able to come with him as I have my daughter to consider and her education. …It’s OK for him, he is going off, new job, new people whereas I feel I am the one stuck at home picking up the pieces of what will be viewed by many as a failed relationship – I am getting that comment already which hurts. How can I look at things and think it will be OK? How can I make it OK? What do I need to do to be that supportive partner he wants without neglecting my feelings? [read more]
Planning Your LDR
Dear Miss U,
…He is graduating in less than 2 months and even though I always knew he’d leave college 2 years before me, I’m scared of how I’ll manage to survive college hereon. He will be going abroad for further studies and the thought that we’ll be able to meet once a year is fearful… [read more]