Dear Miss U,
…But the thing I am having trouble with is the fact that I feel resentful for the fact that he loves it there and he’s super integrated and he enjoys life and has all these friends and he’s changing and he’s going to Hawaii and Disney with his friends and he’s living it up and becoming fully engrained into his new life, while I’m here miserable and incomplete and I have bad anxiety and I can’t enjoy myself when I go out with friends and do things. I thought he was going to move and keep up our relationship. I wasn’t expecting him to start a new life and be thriving there; is that not a fair way to think about things? It killed the relationship for me… [read more]
He’ll Get Bored and Leave
Dear Miss U ,
I have been dating my boyfriend Francis long distance a few months now. He lives in New York and I’m in Florida and we met through a religious dating site. We seem to be a good match and have the same goals in life, however lately I feel like our convos are too short and we don’t have enough lengthy talks like most couples need while dating. We both have different schedules; he’s a busy man but I’m scared that we not talking enough and one day he will get bored and leave me. Any advice? [read more]
Is This Relationship Toxic?
Dear Miss U,
…I have moved to Spain for the next 3 years for university. He has mentioned many times that he feels frustrated with the long distance due to us not sharing experiences and has mentioned that it was me who put us in the long distance relationship by moving to Spain, even though I was accepted and had all my plans before even meeting him. He basically blames me for putting us in this position. He gets very uncomfortable when I go out and says it is unacceptable if I stay out past a certain time. He also thinks I am humiliating him when I post pictures about parties because he never posts those things himself. He recently broke up for a day because he does not want to hold me back, but I begged him to take me back. I feel as though I will be utterly lonely in a country I don’t know and I really want to be with him. I feel like I can’t live without him. Is this relationship toxic? [read more]
When Nothing Changes
Dear Miss U,
…One time I sent him a message saying I love him and miss him and he replied, “So what it doesn’t change.” He told me my feelings to him have changed and are not the same as 4 years ago. When I called him and said my feelings are the same, nothing changed, he said nothing. When I asked him again what is wrong with him, he said he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to be just a friend and told me this relationship will not work. This happened 3 days before my birthday. And now I am still crying don’t know what to do and he still doesn’t know that I am pregnant. My friend told me I don’t have to tell him that I am pregnant and told me I can do this and said, even if I tell him, this situation will not change since he doesn’t love me anymore… [read more]
Things Depression Says
Dear Miss U,
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the past 3 months and it was going really well. We used to talk/video call twice a day even after being in different time zones. The past year has been the most wonderful year of my life and in that year I never thought I’d fall out of love with her ever. The problem started when I fell back into depression within the past few days. I had a problem with depression but when I was with my girlfriend, it had magically stopped for a year. So going on, I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression again. And then one morning, I woke up and suddenly felt no love towards my girlfriend. It’s been 4-5 days since I haven’t talked to her. I used to see my future with her and all I want right now is to be alone. Although I know this might be a mistake, I don’t think I want to continue this relationship right now. But I can’t do that since it would completely break her. This is her first ever relationship and she loves me a lot. She can never imagine not being with me. I feel like a lost cause right now and can’t comprehend the current situation I’m in. [read more]
Care for yourself first so you can care for others
Dear Miss U,
I am very depressed and lonely lately. My fiance is having a rough time, as he struggles with depression which gets much worse in winter. He’s been trying to find stable employment for years with no luck. He lost his dog of 11 years last month. He doesn’t have professional support because he has no insurance. He is isolating and he hardly talks to me. When we do talk, it doesn’t feel the same. It feels like he’d rather be doing anything else than dealing with my emotional neediness. I also have depression, so when he isolates I feel very rejected and unloved. I feel like he is putting his depression first, and isn’t really bothered about our relationship because he finds that hard to deal with too. I am due to fly out to him on Christmas Eve, and he has said he thinks I will regret it and wish I hadn’t come because he will be so depressed. I offered to fly out sooner to be by his side through this depression and he just threw excuses at me as to why he didn’t want me there. This is the second time I have felt rejected by him and it really hurts… [read more]
No One Deserves This
Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for almost 2 years. He is in Australia and I am in the US. We broke up last December for 8 months (due to him not seeing a true future because of the distance) and got back together this July (because we never truly got over one another). After we got back together, we were both so excited for the future and have even talked about marriage and kids. I am graduating college this December and had originally decided to move to Australia for 6 months while figuring my life out so that way we could have some genuine time together to build our relationships further. However, he came to visit a few weeks ago and I woke up one morning questioning everything. Now I don’t know if I even want to be with him at all… [read more]
Is This Goodbye?
Dear Miss U,
…On my last visit, I felt a change in his interest toward intimacy and am concerned he has met someone else. I wasn’t snooping, but found an email from a French girl in my boyfriend’s inbox – he hadn’t signed out – I borrowed his laptop. The tone was friendly, however, he was suggesting airlines that fly to his closest city for her. Their sign off said ‘send you little kisses.’ I fear she visited before my last visit as, he went to stay with, as he called, “friends of friends,” who he had never met before (from France) visiting the USA in his closest city for 5 nights. This is not something that had happened before. In this time, he wasn’t online every day as usual. Maybe I’m over-reacting but I just have a bad gut feeling… [read more]
Battles Worth Picking
Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend and I met almost 2.5 years ago, our senior year of high school. He moved 6 hours away after graduation to college. The first year was rocky, he hid many things from me and although he said he never cheated, I found things like pictures of him with girls in his room his first year. He ended up switching roommates and was surrounded by better friends and a better environment. After the first year, he tried to transfer closer to home to a different school because he hated the first one. His parents said if he moved home, he has to end his relationship with me. At almost 20 years old, in the second year of LDR, his parents still control when we hang out, and how much time we spend together on breaks… [read more]
That Military Man
Dear Miss U,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. After being together for about 7 months he found out he was getting deployed for 9 months. When he first left we talked all the time and FaceTimed. As of recently, he started doing online classes and I work a lot. Now, when we do get a chance to talk, we bicker a lot and argue. As time goes by we try to not let little things bother us but it is becoming a reoccurring issue and I feel as though he has his life over there and I mine. It feels like we are both trying and we are still in this rut. I’m worried this distance will tear us apart and I’m not sure what to do anymore… [read more]