The Otter Man

Dear Miss U,

My boyfriend and I have been going through some bumpy roads here and there. I want to be able to be with him and have a nice smooth and calming relationship. I don’t want to be fighting and angry at him. I sometimes wish he could change. The way he acts can get me so irritated and mad sometimes. Here’s the thing, I don’t want to be. I want to be nice and help him. But I can’t help to get so angry. As an example, he constantly thinks I am hanging out with boys and that I like them or they like me… [read more]

The Power of Now

Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend and I are coming up on our 2 year anniversary and I can’t seem to find myself getting excited. We’ve been together since our freshman year of college but now we’re both doing a semester abroad – me in Paris and him in China. Right before going abroad, we were spending a lot of time together, partially because we knew we’d be apart for 6 months plus most of the summer, but mostly because he was going through some tough stuff mentally. It was becoming a big mental and emotional drain for me because I cared about him so much and just wanted to help him. So I was somewhat grateful for the semester apart to get some space, but I expected that I would eventually begin to miss him a lot. However, that hasn’t happened… [read more]

Married Alone

Dear Miss U,
My husband left for deployment almost 3 months ago and has 7-11 months left. I suffer from anxiety and depression. We talk a couple times a week if we’re lucky. I’ve asked him to write me letters so I have something to look forward to and to look over on the days that I don’t get to talk to him. I’ve asked him to send me emails. He always makes excuses as to why he hasn’t done it. He hasn’t read any of the letters or emails that I have sent him. We started reading the 5 Love Languages Military Edition before he left, he promised to finish, he still hasn’t. When we do talk, he seems so distant… [read more]

When He Chooses Distance

Dear Miss U,
My partner and I have been together for 2 years. We were both at university together, we’ve graduated and traveled together, lived together, and he’s my absolute best friend. We had an amazing relationship where we shared everything and communicated so well, we adored each other. He qualified to work on cruise ships as a commercial officer last year and I’m finding the distance a lot harder than expected. It’s taking me a lot longer to acclimatize than I thought it would, and I feel guilty for this because I’m pushing him away so I can process and deal with how I’m feeling… [read more]

1

You Can’t Fix Him

Dear Miss U,
I messed up a relationship with my ex 8 years ago. We were together 12 years and the last year we were together was not good, we argued all the time, I had credit cards he didn’t know about – maxed out. He traveled with work all the time and came home late Thursday night instead of a Friday and caught me with a couple. Two weeks later he accepted a job in a new province over 2000 mi away. We had no contact for a year and then I email him. He found someone new, and we started to become good friends and discovered we both had feelings for each other. We spoke or texted daily and I flew out to see him. We were both in love and we knew it, but he loved the woman he was with. I accepted that. Our relationship kept growing and my feelings for him are stronger than ever. He has flown out to be with me for a night or two. I don’t want to break up his relationship but told him I want to see him more and have asked for a transfer with work… [read more]

How Many Kisses Is Too Many?

Dear Miss U,
Hello, thanks so much in advance for reading this. I just wished to ask your opinion after I saw an email on my boyfriend’s laptop (he hadn’t signed out of gmail) from another girl. It sounded like she was planning to visit where he lives and he suggested good airlines etc. There was no real flirtation except she signed off saying “little kisses” and he wrote, “send you hugs and kisses.” I haven’t asked him about it yet. Am I just being overdramatic and reading too much into the email sign-off? I now feel cross with myself for not discussing it in person when I had the chance! I feel if I ask him now he doesn’t have to tell the truth as we are not face to face. Do you think it is too late to ask him now? I also feel kind of guilty as I clearly shouldn’t have read the email… [read more]

Closure & Validation

Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend broke up with me by phone two months ago. We had been dating for more than 1 year and knew each other 1 year before dating. He’s from Mexico and I’m from Spain. We loved each other a lot and we both could feel it. We made plans for the near future: I was going to work in Spain first, save some money and then move to Mexico, where he owns a local company. We had got flight tickets, a flat, a business idea for me to work in there… But he eventually felt confused and broke up with me. He said he loved me and I know it has been painful for him too. However, we haven’t got the chance to meet and I’m suffering a lot. Now, I’m thinking about flying to see him in order to have a chat and have a proper end or even reopen the possibility to come back… [read more]

Worrying About Worry

Dear Miss U,
…Lately, it’s been so hard for me. I miss him and I can’t sleep at night and I think about moving closer to him all the time (that’s crazy) but I can’t help it. I’m in love and I can’t even touch the person I’m crazy about. I know we are still so new but I seriously feel so close to him already and it’s extremely hard for me to not see him. Sometimes I think, ok maybe we shouldn’t be dating right now since we aren’t in the same city anymore. But the thought of breaking up with him breaks my heart even more. I guess I just need help with not feeling so lonely all the time… [read more]

Deciding How Your Relationship Unfolds

Dear Miss U,
My girlfriend and I are in a very serious relationship. I overthink everything and was wondering if you had any tips for what to do when I finally meet her. She’ll probably run to me and kiss me. I worry about that and about the fact we’ve both got glasses (and that they’ll bump)… Also due to our situation, I’ll be paying for our dates when she’s here. Should I bother buying her a box of chocolates or anything for when I see her first, or should I save my money for her and our dates? [read more]

Insidious Doubts

Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. He goes to college downstate (2.5 hours away) and I’m a senior in high school. I know it’s not an extreme distance, but I rarely see him and he doesn’t have a car so I’m the one doing all the driving. My parents make the argument that if he loves me so much, he would find a way to come visit me. But it’s so much easier for me to drive to him. This is definitely hard and I want to be with him but sometimes I find myself thinking. “Is worth it?” [read more]