By: Emily
Started dating 6/16/08, both from Connecticut, and living in Virginia and North Carolina during school (me and Gabe respectively) and right now I’m in CT while he’s deployed and will be headed back to VA at the end of summer. He is a Marine and I am a sophomore at James Madison University. He is my best friend.
Gabe and I have been dating for a year, and I never thought we would come this far, I had envisioned us a summer fling. We met at a Tom Petty concert last spring when I was just about to graduate my senior year of high school, and he was home from his first deployment to Iraq. He called me (he left an adorable voicemail that I got while at a dance recital) and I was so nervous! He is from a town near mine, but it seems pretty sketchy in comparison to where I grew up so I googled him and checked in with people from that town who might have known him, to make sure it was safe. Suffice it to say, it was rough getting to know each other from 12 hours away from each other and a couple of visits over the summer, but when I moved down South for school our relationship grew more than I ever expected it to. He drove the 6 hours to my school almost every weekend all year to see me and meet my co-ed service fraternity.
He was deployed relatively recently, and as I drove the 14 hours home on about 3 hours of sleep, I was a wreck and our song came on the radio (Patience – Guns and Roses) and I got Burger King and I had no one to shoot my straw at; it’s pretty hard to be without someone who’s your best friend and lover so suddenly, even if you had months to prepare for it in your mind.
I wake up each morning with the last shirt he wore, before he got on the bus, in bed with me, my cell phone right near my ear; praying for it to wake me up late at night just to hear his voice. As soon as I’m conscious I open my computer hoping for an email or two; for a while they were consistent, but now it’s dropped off to a lot fewer. I drag my phone with my everywhere. I’m always worried I will miss his phone call because I missed the first attempt he made while I was at work (I am a manager at a little girl’s clothing store, Justice, or formerly known as Limited Too).
Monday mornings, I drop my weekly snail mail letter in the mailbox on my way out. I park on the side of the road near my mail box on a hill, pray that my emergency brake holds, and shove the letter in the box and fling the flag up and hope that someday it might reach him. I’ve taken to sending funny cards, one of the most recent ones said, “I miss spooning with you,” on the outside, and on the in, “uh, well, forking too.” It was really cute.
So now, I shower with my cell phone right outside, bring it to Pilates class, where this morning I heard it ringing while we were in our Zen modes and I snapped right out of it to see “unknown” appear and a voicemail. It called back and I ran out of the studio into the hall of my gym and answered. All I could here was a garbled voice (damn those satellite phones) and, “can I call you at home?? I love you.” I’m yelling, and making a scene at the gym, “I’m not home!! I’m at the gym!! I’ll be home in a half an hour!!” He was gone. That’s the worst feeling ever.
I want to be able to share everything with Gabe, but I can’t because he’s gone. By the time I finish the last 5 minutes of Pilates and try to resume breathing at a “Zen” pace (which is pretty impossible at this point) I run out of the gym, to my car, and swear through the traffic all the way home. But this time it’s mid-morning and I’ve already had enough Gabe-induced stress, but the rest of the day is filled with being constantly on edge waiting for the phone to ring because it sounded like he said, “Okay – an hour,” back when I told him when I’d be home. I skipped cardio to hear from him!! But, unfortunately, like most times I sit around waiting for him to call again, it is an epic fail and I don’t hear from him.
It’s approaching noon and I’m putting off showering, just in case the phone rings while I’m occupied. Although my mom works from home, I can’t guarantee she’d be able to catch it and get me from the shower. I check and re-check my email. I’m tired since a phone call at 3AM woke me up the other night, and sent me into stomach-churning mode, when I’d say, “Hello?” and the (damn) satellite phone would drop the call.
I finally give up waiting around 12:30 pm, and hop in the shower, but I still put both phones on the bath mat outside of the shower. I’m pretty pathetic. I start getting ready for work, and can’t help but gravitate to a tank top and Gabe’s Marine Corps sweatshirt, my worn in, pocket torn, first thing he ever gave me sweatshirt, however that is not appropriate for Justice, Just for Girls. I finally find an appropriate outfit and check my email again.
I tend to re-read emails as well. One favorite begins,
“first off i have to start be telling you something in complete confidence that you won’t think anything less of me after this… you ready for it… i totes missed you so bad last night i had to cuddle with your teddy to fall asleep last night… yeah go ahead keep laughing cuz i know you are and your probably saying something like i knew you would like it even if you thought it was corny. but yeah i did and i even set my alarm 10 min before everyone else woke up so i could get up and hide it before anyone saw but it failed cuz i slept right through the alarm and got made fun of but it’s ok…”
Finally today, as crazily as I check my email, I got a short one back, and it barely said anything, which happens almost every day, which is the hardest part, I miss the responses and the advice that I get from him when he’s here. Today’s note says that he still hasn’t gotten the package I sent more than 2 weeks ago, which is slightly upsetting since I spent a fair amount of money (a couple of DVDS, his favorite candy, stamps/envelopes/paper, a picture, shipping) and it still hasn’t gotten to him!
When I’m finally on the way out the door to work, I write down my work number on the counter and ask my dad, “If Gabe calls, can you give him this number please?” Even though I very well know that he probably won’t call since I have NO IDEA what time it is or where he is. The hardest part of missing him is that my life doesn’t stop, and I just miss him so much sometimes: When I see motorcycles (I crashed and basically totaled his) and the small crack in the bumper of my car where he backed into my Aunt and Uncle’s SUV at Christmas and left a HUGE dent in their car but a tiny crack in mine, and I took the blame (but now we’re even in accidents so I guess it’s okay). I wear his dog tag around my neck on a chain he gave me at Christmastime that was originally for this beautiful stone he set for me, but I broke it, but I feel closer to him with the dog tag around my neck. As I write this I am wearing my USMC sweatpants and his hoodie, I keep the empty bottle from the wine from our first Valentine’s Day on a shelf in my room, and pictures of us are everywhere.
Usually during afternoons I’m at work, but on my break I’ll get some fast food (usually McDonald’s) and order 2 dollar menu 4-piece chicken nuggets because he taught me it was cheaper and he’s the only one who will eat fast food, or steak with me, most of my friends are vegans, or really against processed fast food). I can’t get through a shift without mentioning him, but usually my co-workers ask, “Have you heard from Gabe recently?” although they know they probably would already have heard about it if I had.
When I get home from work around 9pm, I’ll usually immediately check my email, and if I have plans, hope to be distracted for the evening (while secretly praying that I’m not going somewhere that I won’t have cell phone service) because all I honestly want to do is hear from my goofy, doofus of a Marine. When I am finally home for the night and settled in, before I go to bed I always write one goodnight email to tell him about what happened during the day or things that reminded me of him, and of course, how much I miss him. He is my best friend and it’s really hard to be without him, especially during the summer, when I can’t even hear his voice. We’re missing our anniversary (which is totally not a big deal, but also kind of cool, but sad to miss) and my 19th birthday and his 22nd birthday, and probably Thanksgiving, and I’m praying that we’re not missing Christmas this year too.
As I turn in from another day without him, I crawl into my too-big-for-one-person (brand new) bed that I sleep in every night, where his side hasn’t even touched and I find his shirt and say goodnight in my head, hoping subconsciously he can feel it. I try to think about him hard enough that I can conjure him up in a dream, which occasionally happens, and it’s so disappointing to wake up from, but very nice while you’re dreaming. My days apparently seem very devoted to Gabe, but I promise it’s not as pathetic as it seems, this was just based off of today! Which happened to involve actual phone call stress, which turned into nothing in the long run like it usually does. =[ Which is kind of a bummer.
Emily
Comments 31
Hi there. My boyfriend, Trevor, and i have been together almost 2 months and he just got deployed last week. He’s stressed out not wanting to be overseas and i’m stressed out not getting to talk to him as much as i’m used to. This is my first military relationship, ever. I love him and he loves me, but this distance is extremely difficult. Does anyone have any ideas on how for me to better handle his deployment and the lack of texts, emails and phone calls. I would greatly appreciate it.
I met a marine long distance and we fell in love he’s coming to get me and we’re getting married I’m going back to where he is he has two officers following him down here to keep him safe to pick me up
I loved this. I relate to this so much!! My boyfriend has been deployed almost 3 month now and I am ATTACHED to my phone.
Thank you!
Me and my boyfriend have beem together for a year now hes my whole world he talk eveey single day and i dont go more than maybe 2 days without seeing him he recently decided this is something he wants to pursue but has been giving me a lot of mixed singles saying he wants to join the marines but doesnt want to be away from me and wants our future but wants the experience and im having a really hars time supporting him i dont how to support the person i love leaving and being away like that and i know part of it is selfishness but im constantly worried about something happening and not being there to fix it or love on him ive been having extreme nightmares of him being gone and its been really hard if anyone has any advice at all please let me know i really need the help
Gracie, my best friend of two and 1/2 years Started dating about 10 months ago and he is my everything. He told me a few months ago that he wanted to go into the marines for 4 years. Reading your paragraph, I felt like I could very much so relate. I’m really trying to stay positive and figure out what I’m going to do in the future. I think I’m going to find a college down there so I can see him on any free time that he has.
Hi I have been invloved with a military Navy Officer for a 1 year and 9 months now and he has the chance to come home only thing is the way they are going to aloud him come is that he needs money to pay for his leave so I was wondering is there away someone would be able to help him out to bring him home finial please ans thank you he is a U.S. Navy Officer and I am a Canada
If he is a navy officer he should definitely be able to afford his own plane ticket. Even more simply, if a man wants to visit you he will make it happen. He won't resort to you gathering money for him. Men move mountains to see women they care about. Lazy men just don't care enough.
This really helped me a lot. I am currently talking to a marine as well. He just came home from boot but went right back to Cali for SOI and then the fleet. Some days are more difficult than others bc of not hearing from him. It’s hard being patient. Hope everything is worth it in the end.
I recently started to date a future marine.. i'm a junior in high school and he is a senior this year. We met at a family friend New Years Eve party and ever since then I've fallen so hard for him. Ever since he told me he's leaving for boot camp this coming fall, it already scares me. I know its only been a month since I've met him but I care about him so much and see a real future with him. I'm so proud to know he's going for his dream and facing his fears and doing something so great like this. It's just so scary to even think about loosing the person you care about. After reading this and reading all the comments I feel so inspired to make this relationship long-lasting and be with him through every step of the way of being a marine. It is so scary but after reading this I see that no matter how scary it is, the happiness and love is worth it all. Good luck to all who are pursuing relationships with the courageous men they love.
Oh my goodness, your story brought me to tears! My boyfriend told me it has always been his childhood dream to join the Marine Corps. Now that he's 21 years old and not getting any younger, he wants to pursue it. Once I knew he was serious about the Marines, the reality of him leaving hit me so hard. I've been looking for stories like this all over because I was curious to see how this would impact my life coming from someone who lives it daily. Your story hits so close to home because I can put myself in your shoes and I would be doing the exact same thing. He's my world and he knows it. So long distance is really going to test our relationship. But reading your story and other people's experiences in the comments, it really gave me hope. In the end it will all be worth it. Thank you for sharing!
I've been in a relationship with my marine for almost a month now. We've known each other long before that. It's going to be almost a year since we met each other. He's originally from Cali from a city 2 hours away from mine, but he is currently stationed in Arizona. The last time I saw him was when he came home for the holidays and took some leave to stay up until after New Years. He's been gone for a couple weeks now and I miss him more than ever. We get to text and call almost everyday and we FaceTime when we can, but I never realized I could miss a person this much. I miss jamming to music in the car with him, cracking jokes every hour of the day, and just being with him. He has a field op starting this Monday and I'm used to those but he also told me recently he might be getting deployed. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like not hearing from him for more than a week. I'm trying to prepare myself for if he eventually gets deployed, but I've come to a conclusion that I'm not really sure I can prepare for something like that. I already miss him, even if I communicate with him everyday, and I don't wanna know anytime soon what it's like to not hear from him at all for a handful of days or months. It makes me feel not so alone when I read other girl's stories about having somewhat of a similar situation. I'm glad I found a few girls to confide and communicate with. I would love to hear more from you guys!
My marine just left 2 days ago for boot camp and ive never felt so alone in my life. He is my best friend and my everything, but i know that going through this will make our relationship that much stronger. we have been together for 7 months now and i miss him terribly. its so good to read about other girls going through the same thing. i just dont know how im gonna last 3 months without him.. i miss him so much!
Hey there. I'm so glad i found this post.
I have a marine boyfriend who i love so much. We met here in indonesia when he was deployed here for about 2 months. He told me that i was the best thing in his life. He's so sweet and so handsome. I'm so in love with him. Hes stationed in japan now,and i live here in indonesia. We always text and call everyday. I always cry to sleep everynight because i really miss him,,and i love him so much.
My marine leaves to boot camp tomorrow at 12pm. It has finally dawned on me that I will not be receiving a "good morning" message from him any longer. We have been dating for 3 years, and being with him is so natural. He's my best friend and we try to spend every chance we get together.
Him leaving is a heartbreak. I have no idea how I will react. I'm just so sad. And want him to stay by my side. I understand that he is following his dreams, and I support it, but I just love him so much.
I have been with my Marine for almost 6 months and he leaves for boot camp December 12. Yesterday the reality of him leaving and not hearing his voice for 3 months hit me hard. I can only imagine how hard it will be when he is gone. I've been holding all the fear, stress, anxiety, and sadness in so long that I'm having a hard time controlling it now. He lives 2 hours away from me so when we do get to see each other it's really only on the weekends. The worst part is that I'm an athlete who travels and this last month we have we will barely get to see each other due to my traveling. I don't know weather to take this as preparation or not but it's really taking a toll on me. I'm a senior in highschool so I am also trying to finish this last year before I head to college. This is all just so new and hard but I know in the end he will be worth it.
I have a Marine who is finishing up Boot Camp and will be graduating on November 10th. Then he comes back home for 10 days and I am hoping to see him every day he is here. I have been writing him almost everyday since he left. I never thought I would miss him as bad as I do. We knew each other briefly years ago when we were kids and then suddenly reconnected over this past summer and realized we actually had things in common and seemed to truly understand each other. We quickly became friends and we just wanted to get to know each other even more. Two days before he left for Boot Camp we went on our first date and I had never had such an amazing time on a first date. I mean we genuinely connected, he was the first guy I could be completely myself with. I didn't have to try and impress him because he already found so many things about me amazing. It was pretty cool. Then the next day he left for the journey to the rest of his life. I am so proud of him. I realized a few days after he left that I really had developed true feelings for him but, while I wait for his return which is only a few short weeks away I am wondering and worrying about us. Do I want to start this lifestyle? I had never really been open to a military relationship at all, until I met him. I'm just feeling so unsure of myself at this point. I did really appreciate this article.
I am in a relationship with my Recruit that'll be a Marine on the 10th of November. We met in an online dating site. Yes, you read it right. I met him exactly one month before he went to the bootcamp. I am from the Philippines and he lives in Indiana. The fact that I live outside US makes it so hard to communicate. It takes 18-20 days for my mail to reach him and I actually haven't receive any from him. But, he wrote a letter to me twice and sent it to his 14 year old brother so he can type it and send to me on Messenger. That is just so cute of him, I know that he's too shy to his brother but he still did it. He can forget about his ego just to keep me updated and remind me of our plans. He got 29 days left in camp.
the sad thing is that, I cannot make it on his graduation. Aside from the fact that I dont have enough money to go to US, I am also a 18 year old third year college student. I'll turn 19 on November 5 and it's so sad because he's not even here to talk to me. . but, as his partner, I know I should understand and bare with it.
It's so hard to deal with the distance that I, sometimes, is aching because I badly want to be with him but know I can't. We have so much plans like he's gonna visit me or I can visit him wherever he might be deployed whenever I can. It really takes patience and loyalty. 🙂 It will all be worth the lonely times.
We won't give up on our Marines because they are worth it.
I've been with my marine for a year and a half. He Graduated Boot Camp Sept 23rd. That was the most amazing day ever I would do anything to go back. Today is the last day of his leave i'm a wreck… i'm a senior in High School and today has been pretty rough. I'm so upset but I know I have to be strong for both of us. Before he left he told me " this is big girl time" and he's been telling me that again for the past few days. I know it's not as bad we can face time and talk on the weekends and phone calls at night but it's still not the same as him being home with me. Graduation day was like the first date all over again I had major butterflies. The time apart really did make us love each other more. I'll be going to college next year and depending on where he is being stationed I will be attending college in the area. I pray every day he gets stationed in the US but in the end all I can really do is be there for him I know this means a lot of waiting but it will definitely be worth it I wouldn't change anything for the world.
I know exactly how you feel. My Marine just got stationed in San Diego and i miss him like crazy and i cry almost everyday because after a hello again kiss there is always a goodbye. I cant express to him how i feel because i know it will unsettle him. I just need someone who understands how hard it is to hold all of this in
Ive been with my marine a little over a year now , and I can honestly say he is my better half. Once he left for bootcamp my world turned upside down. Its heart breaking to know when you wake up the love of your life isn't there making fun of the way you slept or snored and will not be there to tell you he loves you before bed. One thing i can suggest is being as supportive as you can be to your marine ,and do things that you love to keep your mind off all of the negatives. Im a fashion student and live in NYC and my marine always reminded me to follow my dreams. As should all of you ! your marine would want you to pursue your dream as your supporting theirs. Stay strong ladies! feel free to reach out if you need someone to chat with
I have been in a relationship with my Marine since May 2016, I knew him from high school but I had a boyfriend back then and I was blinded with him… but this is a crazy story because I started talking to my Marine when he was deployed, and I had just left that really bad relationship of 4yrs with that boyfriend that blinded me and he was just leaving his relationship of 3 or 4 yrs too. We had both been cheated on and well we were both very heart broken but somehow even though he communicated only some days and for a limited amount of time he made me feel better and happier. We stopped talking for the last month of his deployment, because everything in our life got really complicated and we had to sort things out, but when he came back from his deployment to NC we started talking again and to my surprise, he was going to be send to my city in TX to take care of some things and I was going to get to see him for two days. Although, we stopped talking during the last part of his deployment I was so excited to see him! he had been my friend in high school and we spend an entire week together in a summer camp and he was such a gentleman and so handsome, I just knew after so much pain he was what I need it. in the end he ended up staying in my city for two weeks I would see him everyday and we even went on a road trip. I felt like he was just so perfect and romantic and just as full of life as i wanted the world to be. He asked me to be his girlfriend right before boarding the plane to leave to NC and I said yes with all the joy and sadness of watching him live. since that day we have been talking every day and he wants me to move to NC with him next year after I graduate from college. I already said yes, and Im so excited about it. Although I haven't told anyone because I know they wont understand how crazy I am about him. Im going to go see him this next weekend and I am so so excited I miss him every day so so much!! this man makes me feel so happy and protected and I trust him with all my heart like I have never trust anyone else!
I've been dating my marine for a year and seven months now. Though he has only been a Marine for a year of it. I knew he wanted to enlist since the day I met him, it's scared me but I knew no matter what I would go through with him gon3 I'd rather be with him than without him. Now he is stationed in California and I'm in Idaho. I love when he comes home but it's so hard when he leaves again no matter what I do to prepare myself. I miss the late night movies and the cuddles. I miss all the intimacy but I miss the little things that we have too. I sleep in his shirt every night and have his picture under my pillow as well as on my wall and night stand. I miss him like crazy and I'm moving closers to him as soon as I have the money to do so. He is looking at his first deployment in a few months and that scares the hell outta me. It socks because I don't know anyone in a military relationship let alone a marine, and I'm "only a girlfrirnd" but I know I won't be forever, I already have a ring on my hand. But I still don't know anyone I can relate to. This post made me cry because I can relate to a lot of the things you said at the begining of the blog. Espeshily with the straw wrapper part. Thank you for posting this, it's nice to know what I struggle with even just with his being stationed somewhere else and in the field every other week. It's nice to know my struggles aren't just something I struggle with.
I'm going on week 3 of Bootcamp with my recruit. We've been together for a little over 2 years now and it's something he's wanted to do since he was 8 years old. He's my rock, my best friend..Graduation day is on September 23rd and I can't wait for that day to come. I never knew I could miss someone so much. My friends try to understand what I'm going through, but unless you're going through this experience it's really difficult to understand. I talk to his mom a lot, but it's not the same as talking to a significant other of a Marine, or recruit. There's been nights that I just feel completely alone and are vulnerable, but I know with this experience our relationship with only grow stronger.
Boyfriend leaving for boot camp November 14! I love him so much but so nervous for it. I would love marine girlfriend friends!!
I started dating a Marine about 4 months ago. It's funny, because I have known this guy since middle school and we re united 4 months ago after not seeing each other or talking to each other since our high school graduation which was in 2013. It was honestly unexpected how things have happened, but we honestly just click on every level. I like him a lot, maybe even love him. I hope it all works out, we are not rushing anything but we both are pretty serious about what we want. Luckily I only have to survive w/o him for a year. since this is his last year in the corps. But even so, a year is a long time.
I miss him terribly.
This post was great, and I hope you keep updating it and letting us know the status of you and your marine. Best of luck!
-Dayan
I have been looking up so many sites like this about dating a Marine because I feel so alone. None of my friends understand and I don't know how to explain.
I met my Marine through the internet and have been together for 3 months now. It seems so much longer though. We have connected so well and he is easily becoming my best friend.
Right now he is in OCS and I am taking summer courses in GA. When we met we realized we lived 10 minutes from each other but I'm in Nursing School and that takes up so much of my time, so we basically have been in a long distance relationship this whole time. I miss him like crazy, but I'm also scared of what our future holds. He graduates in December and I still have another year left in my schooling…what happens after that? I don't know.
Thank you either way; this was great! I hope we can talk more about this.
Tonancy
I have been with my marine for about 4 months. I know when I say how we met people will be like "Really"!! Okay… I met my marine on a dating website. He is about 6-7 years older me. It was wierd because he found me and left me a message. After seeing his message I message him back. After that we started talking through emails. It was crazy cause I know that we never met in person but it seemed like it. We got along so well.. He is deployed in Syria and it is hard to talk to him now. We are always talking but now when he moved locations its when ever he can. We are on different times so I aways have my phone on me. When it's day here,it's night over there and the other way around. I always am worried that I am going miss his messages. I get so happy when I get a message. I always ask if he can call but he says he can't! I don't understand if he can message why not call?? I now think he is talking to someone. When I ask he juat changes the subject… I know we are just dating but, I feel that he is keeping something from me.. Am I being to cautious!??
This just broke me down into tears! My boyfriend is currently wanting to go into the marines (he's very serious about it) and it scares the shit out of me. Everytime he says something about it i secretly want to curl up and die inside, but this is what he wants to do so of course i support hi . We've lived together for almost 2 months now and I know its going to be so hard not waking up to his handsome smile every morning. I cant imagine how vastly life is going to change for us. Emily you seem like such a strong woman thank you so much for sharing your story
This is so nice to see other girls in military relationships. I can relate to you on so many levels, Emily. Can you update us when you hear back from your Marine? My Marine is in training right now and holy shit do I miss him! Our one year is coming up, my graduation, my Marine brother is coming home from deployment..so many things I wish my Marine could be home for. I guess, like you said, I'll just leave it to keeping my phone on me 24/7!
I was reading this and it's hard to hold back tears. My boyfriend of over a year is leaving for boot camp because he's going in to infantry. I'm scared to lose my best friend because I honestly don't know what to do or how to react. We are both in our senior year in highschool and I come talk about it with anyone because I just feel so alone …
I just came across this and it hit me hard in the chest cause I just started dating (we are official now) a marine. He is stationed in California and im in georgia. We spent all of three days together before he had to go back and he asked me to be his girlfriend over skype on 1/28/16.
If you are reading this and still with your marine. I would love to talk to you about things and so forth cause talking to my friends about ldr's and dating a marine isn't working really cause they just dont understand I suppose.
Let me know if you can talk!
ALLIE