A Day in the Life of an Army Girlfriend: How Can I NOT Do It?!

It all happened so fast. He was a friend of a friend (of a friend?) and just so happened to join the group in our New Years Eve celebrations. We exchanged numbers, but I debated calling him for a few days. I eventually did and we set up a ‘date’ at Starbucks for the following Tuesday. He was just too cute. He was already there when I arrived, when he saw me through the window his face lit up, a smile spread across his face, and he excitedly waved to me. His smile tugged at my heart. We just clicked! I felt so comfortable around him and the conversation flowed easily. He had told me he was in the Army, but I learned he was just getting back from Iraq and had 2 weeks block leave before he was to go back to base. We became pretty much inseparable from this moment on. He actually met my parents this same night (I’m living at home while attending school) and I met his that weekend. Everything (and everyone) just fit together so perfectly.

I spent the weekend with him and his family. He was leaving Sunday morning, but I live about 3 hours away so I left the evening before. He walked with me to my car, holding my hand in his. And then he said, “Hold on I have one more thing for you.” We walked over to his truck and he said, “Stand right here. I don’t want you to see it.” He dug around in his truck a little, then he turned around and placed his dog tags around my neck and said “These are for you!” He held me tight and then looked deep in my eyes and said, “I’m going to miss you so much!” and he pulled me real close. I started crying a little and he took my face in his hands, wiping away my tears and looked in my eyes. Then he kissed me. He just held me close for a little while. We walked back over to my car and I said, “Well we never talked about it. We never said it out loud, but are we dating?” and he said yea, “You know what else we didn’t say out loud?’ He looked in my eyes, pulled me close, and said, “I love you,” and I told him I loved him too. We’ve been together 9 months now, but we talk about our future together. We’re sure we’re meant to be and it’s just all too perfect to be anything less than soul mates!

We’re fortunate enough that he is stationed a few states away. He’s only 740 miles away and it’s not likely that he will be deployed again. Although I am infinitely appreciative that things are as easy as they are (I’d rather be a few hundred miles away than thousands!), I still miss him and wish we could share more moments together.

He’s the first thing I think about each morning! Before I even fully open my eyes, my phone is in my hand and I am checking to see if I have received a text message or have a missed call. Each morning we try to be the first to text the other “I love you the mostest” (we’re a pretty cheesy couple). Since I’m not a very hard sleeper and I’m up every few hours going to the restroom I have already texted him my “I love you the mostest” message, but I was still hoping to see a few words from him. If I’m lucky enough I get a wake up call, but most mornings he has at least sent a quick “Good morning. I love you” text.

Last semester classes were early and I would normally give him a wake up call. This semester I have night classes, and I am never up early enough to place a wake up call. I call him each morning even though I know he’s already and work and not likely to answer. I live for the random texts and phone calls he finds time to make. Often the morning phone calls (if there is one) is just a quick “Hello. I just wanted to say I love you.” These calls are often less than two minutes, but I know many military couples don’t even have the luxury of such short phone calls, so I cherish each one! I look over at the pictures on my bed stand and smile. I have little reminders of Bryce everywhere. My bed stand and desk are filled with pictures of him and I, my roses from Valentines Day, and various cards and notes he has sent me. I even have pictures of him in my car, as well as the piece of paper with his number he gave me that first day. I take a deep breath and climb out of bed to start my day.

I begin getting ready. I flip through my shirts finally settling on jeans on the “Proud Army Girlfriend” t-shirt he purchased for me. I stare at the set of dog tags he gave me, run my finger over his name thinking about what I’d give to see him, and place them back in my shirt. I rarely ever take them off; it makes me feel closer to him.

After eating breakfast and packing myself a lunch, I fill my U.S. Army travel mug with coffee and head to school. Most of my classes this semester are night classes and do not start until 5pm. I try to keep busy; doing random chores around the house, keeping up with homework, going to the gym, and visiting the daycare I used to work at. As I climb into the car, I notice the picture of Bryce and a smile spreads across my face. I try calling him again knowing he probably won’t answer; he doesn’t, but at least I get to hear his voice (voicemail). He sounded a little frustrated with work last night so I decide to text him, “Just thinking about you! Hope you have a good day! Xoxo.”

I usually receive a phone call around lunch, again it may just be a 2-minute phone call to say, “Hey,” but we realize we may not always have that and take advantage of the opportunity now. I always have my phone nearby; worried I’ll miss a call or won’t respond quickly to a text. His normal lunch break passes with no call, I feel a little disappointed since our phone calls lately have been shorter, but I know he has a lot of stuff to take care of.

As I drive through campus, someone in uniform catches my eye. I do a double-take, yes indeed there is a student walking around in ACU’s (I’m sure it’s something for ROTC) and my thoughts are again on my soldier; my eyes tear up, it happens anytime I see someone in uniform and I feel a mix of emotions. There is a strong sense of pride, but the longing, the wish to be in his arms at the moment is so strong it makes my heart hurt.

I head to the day care center knowing “my children” will be excited I kept my promise to visit and help distract me from my thoughts. I enjoy the afternoon with “my children” and happily explain “what that is around my neck” and how my boyfriend is soldier. I tell the children bye and agree to visit again soon. I check my phone, hoping I did not miss a call while I was at the daycare center and make my way to class. It’s always hard sitting through class. Normally he is just getting off of work as my class begins so we miss our first chance to have a conversation. He’s been much busier since they’ve deployed; working every day and much later than usual. (They’ve deployed to another base; thankfully only a state over from where he normally resides! Still, he’s much busier than back “home.”)

I try to pay attention in class, but I find it impossible to concentrate. I feel like I’m checking my phone every 5 minutes hoping to see a text or call.

FINALLY class is done! I quickly put away my books and walk to my car as fast as I can. Before I’m even in my car I am on the phone again, hopeful that I will be able to talk to him. Yet again I hear his voice mail. My hands fly to the dog tags around my neck; I run my finger over his name wishing I could talk to him that minute. I try not to think about how much I miss him. It seems like our phone calls lately are much shorter and definitely fewer. I turn the radio up and sing-a-long to The Beatles at the top
of my lungs as I drive home.

When I finally get home, I rush in and throw my stuff on the bed. I begin homework and try to wait patiently for his phone call. Suddenly my phone rings. I quickly grab it and throw it open, “Hello!” FINALLY, I hear those words I’ve so anxiously awaited, “Hey sweetie! I miss you!” We talk briefly about our day, but we both need to get ready for bed so we promise to call before we go to sleep. Just as I’m climbing into bed my phone rings again, it’s him! We stay on the phone close to an hour talking about our day, about when he’ll be home, he argues that he misses me the most and he does indeed love me ‘the mostest.’ We eventually say our goodnights. Before we hang up he says, “I miss you baby. No, I really really miss you. And I love you so much.” I swallow hard, forcing the lump in my throat down, trying not to cry. I tell him I miss him too and we hang up.

I place my phone right beside my pillow, just in case he can’t sleep and calls back, and cuddle up to my body pillow holding his dog tags in my hand. I thank God that I have found such an incredible love and pray that he will stay in the states. I fall asleep thinking of him, trying to remember the safety I feel in his arms.

People ask, “How do you do it?” My response is, “How can I NOT do it?!” I’ve never been so… comfortable with someone. Never trusted someone so easily and felt that it was perfectly okay. He makes my heart skip a beat when he looks into my eyes. Makes my breath catch with a simple touch. The sound of his voice makes my heart do these crazy flip flops. He makes my heart beat real fast and real slow at the same time with just a kiss. And when I’m near him I just can’t stop smiling. Just hearing his name gives me butterflies in my stomach. His hand always manages to find mine and it never fails to make my heart drop down to the pit of my stomach when it does.

He’s just not close enough unless I can feel his heartbeat and I can’t remember a time I ever felt so much like someone’s world. He’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep. I think about him all day long, remembering the way he touched me, remembering the way he kissed me, remembering the way he looked so deeply into my eyes. He makes me want to be a better person. I won’t lie, it’s not easy, and the distance is absolutely terrible. But we are so fortunate in what we have. He is so good to me and he loves me more than I ever thought imaginable. He has put his whole heart into this relationship and only asks that I love him in return. Our love for one another is deeper and stronger and than any I ever hoped to find. It’s the kind of love you only find once in a lifetime (if that!). You don’t just throw that away over something as trivial as distance. I know I haven’t experienced anything yet as far as ‘military relationships’ go. I’m grateful for what we have and I treasure ever second we have together. No matter the distance, no matter the time away, I have made a commitment and will always stand by him and support him!

Alyssa