Miss You Issues: If It Weren't For The Distance... - Long Distance Relationship Advice

Dear Miss U,

I love my partner and I know he loves me more but the absence has changed our conversations to arguments. How can we get past this bitter moment? I can’t physically be with him every day but we talk on the phone and write letters regularly. How do I fill the void of me not being there or him not being here?

Dutchies bombshell

Dear Bombshell,

If there is no other root to your arguments than resenting the distance, then I suggest you both need to challenge the way you think about the distance and put more focus on making your LDR fun. If you can’t manage the conversations then you need to do things together that will remind you why you love each other so much. Laugh together again. Face challenges together. Look into your shared hobbies, or try something new together, always keeping in mind that physical proximity isn’t even half of the connection between two people. You are/can be together spiritually and emotionally, your voice crosses the distance, as does your sounds of pleasure, your laugh, and even your song (though for many of us our song is badly out of tune and worthy only of the shower!) Your mind and personality are not at all confined by the distance. Imagine yourselves together and speak as though it were true.

It is frustrating not to be able to touch, but we do ourselves a great disservice if we act as though our other senses are also bound by the distance when they are not.

Dear Miss U,

I made a stupid mistake. I am in a LDR with my bf of 6 months who I have known for years. We haven’t been together long but we are madly in love. There is no one on this planet I want more than him.

Recently I have started school to get my GED, and on one day I stayed long after class with a friend and a guy she knows. The guy seemed cool and I tend to be an open/friendly person.

A few days later the guy caught me on my way to class and asked for my number. I wanted to say that I have a boyfriend, but out of nowhere my teacher showed up to tell me that I was going to be late for class. I am not good at quick responses so I gave it out. I immediately regretted it. He texted, and I clearly showed that I am not interested, but regrettably still did not mention my bf. It has been a week and he has not texted since. I deleted the conversation and contact. I am conflicted. I really wish I had been more reserved and not talked to any guys other than my love. I am afraid that if I were to confess this to my bf that he would be hurt. Should I be honest or keep this as a personal fuck up?

Open book

Dear Open Book,

There’s nothing to confess. You haven’t actually done anything wrong, and honestly, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. If you see the guy or get another text from him tell him that he’s cool and you’d like to be friends but you’re not interested in more than that. If he asks why tell him you have a boyfriend.

You are allowed to have friends who also have penises. You are allowed to give out your own phone number to whoever you want and you’re allowed to talk to those people too. Again, you have done nothing wrong.

If you want to tell your boyfriend, go ahead, but there’s nothing to “confess” because you haven’t done anything remotely unfaithful.

Dear Miss U,

Hi, my name is Alyssa and I need advice. Me and my boyfriend Luke have been together for about a month now and it’s amazing. We really connect well and he cares and loves so much. But the problem is he lives across the world from me. It’s hard being in a distance relationship. Is it even worth it? I always think that he’s going to move one or something. Give me your advice.

Alyssa

Dear Alyssa,

I can’t tell you if it’s worth it for you, only you can decide that, but it was worth it for me. I have no regrets about the time, effort, money, and heartache I put into an international romance. If the guy is amazing and the only thing that makes you unhappy is the distance I think it would be foolish to throw the opportunity away.