Dear Miss U,
My boyfriend lives in England, and I live in the US. I love him very much, but I’m having issues with him right now though. He said “I love you” to me several times, but now he’s told me that he only said that to make me happy. I don’t know how I should respond to this. I also feel like he’s not really putting any effort into this. I suggested we try a whole bunch of the activities on the site, but he always says no. I just want to know if you think that it would be worth sticking this out. Thanks.
Ella
Dear Ella,
No, he’s not worth it. You don’t need a boy who will lie just to say what he thinks you want to hear, or someone who’s not willing to put in any effort for you. Love isn’t all it takes.
Dear Miss U,
I have been almost 1 year being in a relationship with him, but we’ve been best friend for over 4 years. First time I think it wouldn’t be so hard because we are best friend and been living separated between Asia-Europe for almost 4 years, but the fact is this is not as easy as i thought.
Based on our situation right now, it’s hundred percent different when we were just friend. Sometimes i get bored staring all the time on my laptop and my phone, even sometimes we share something cute like sweet mail, photos, or some kind like that.
Sometimes i keep away from him, avoid to communicate but i do missed him, so this complicated thing keep twirl on my mind. And when we start talking, all what exactly happens is we keep arguing.
What should i do to make things work? If i ask him to turn back for being just friend i know the answer is he doesn’t want to. and i know things would never be the same like before, I don’t wanna lose my best friend who’s also my lover though, it means i will lose two people at once, isn’t it?
-Irine
Dear Irine,
I think you’re simply talking too much, and spending too much time tied to your phone/computer. It’s normal to feel bored. Mix it up by having some date nights (for example, watch a movie together: or by sending snail mail.
You need time apart mentally as well as physically, and I sense you’re not getting enough of that, and not getting enough fun from within the relationship.
At a basic level a romantic relationship is deep friendship with sex, so I suggest you look back to your friendship and find out what drew you together in the first place, then nurture those things.
Dear Miss U,
Me and my ummm “friend” have been on and off for about a year and a half. He lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Michigan. We met at a park in Michigan. Our churches were doing some community work for the week. We connected and exchanged numbers. We’ve fought through everything possible. He’s my first love and I feel like I want to marry him but Is that just because he is my first love or true feelings? I’ve been saving everything for him. My first kiss, my heart and my virginity (lol). There’s honestly nothing I don’t like about him. He is my other half. I’ve cried happy tears over him and I’ve cried myself to sleep because I miss him. It’s hard to concentrate during school. Help!!!!
Love Nicole
Dear Nicole,
If he’s so perfect, why are you doubting your love and your relationship? You have not given me a single reason why you might not love him, but at the end of the day, deep inside, only you can know the answer to this question.
There is nothing less valid about first-love than any other love, you just need to self-access, like you are doing, and make sure you’re in it for the right reasons.
