Say Goodbye

Dear Miss U,

My long distance boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. The first 5 years were amazing, better than I could have asked for. However, over the last 2 years, something switched. My boyfriend constantly avoided talking about our future and asked why I was trying to “rush” things. Then, enter the toxic world of politics and a pandemic and he became a person that I don’t recognize. He has become judgemental, arrogant and someone who always needs to be right, even when he’s not. There was a time during the pandemic where I wasn’t doing well mentally (thanks, 2020) and I needed him to be there for me. Instead, he would respond to my struggles with a “bigger picture” comment or a political fact. I found myself having to deal with essentially everything completely alone.

This past week, we had an awful fight after he made a rude comment about my family. I confronted him about everything and how done I am with his behavior. Then suddenly, he’s apologizing and saying everything I wanted to hear – a year ago. Part of me wants to give him a second chance because of our history, but my gut is telling me that something is very wrong. He wasn’t there for me when I needed him the most and I have felt very alone in this relationship for a long time. I don’t want to hurt him, but I think I fell out of love with him a long time ago.

Dazed and REALLY confused

Dear Dazed,

You don’t owe him anything. I want to put that out there, before anything else. You don’t owe him your time or effort. You don’t owe him another chance.

If you want to stick around and see how this plays out, by all means do, but me personally I’d have my figurative bags packed and waiting by the door for the first sign of nastiness to reappear.

Sometimes it’s too little too late, and that’s okay. There is only so much a person can take before they don’t want to try anymore. If that’s the point you’re at, forgive yourself, put yourself first, and say goodbye.

Sit down and think about what you want most out of life, and who you want to be there beside you, then take the steps to make that reality happen.

Dear Miss U,
I have been having trouble with my LD girlfriend and I have been having the notion of calling it quits but we both said that we are to put in the effort so I shouldn’t leave yet. I don’t know but I think I have fallen out of love, what should I do? She claims she still loves me and wants to fix things but I feel that she is not putting me as a priority in her life. It’s always friends, family, and oh the bloody dog. She got a dog 3 months out and things went hay from there. I told her we are doing long distance it’s expensive enough, why would you have the dog? [read more: Dump Her]
Dear Miss U,
…One time I sent him a message saying I love him and miss him and he replied, “So what it doesn’t change.” He told me my feelings to him have changed and are not the same as 4 years ago. When I called him and said my feelings are the same, nothing changed, he said nothing. When I asked him again what is wrong with him, he said he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to be just a friend and told me this relationship will not work. This happened 3 days before my birthday. And now I am still crying don’t know what to do and he still doesn’t know that I am pregnant. My friend told me I don’t have to tell him that I am pregnant and told me I can do this and said, even if I tell him, this situation will not change since he doesn’t love me anymore… [read more: When Nothing Changes]

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

About the Author

Miss U

Miriam Cumming is a writer, witch, and LDR survivor with more than a decade of trans-Pacific experience. She’s currently living in paradise with her one true love and their three little gentlewomen where she indulges in coffee, tattoos, and World of Warcraft. You can learn more about her writing and LDR success from her blog The Wicce Writes.