Miss You Issues: The Art of Conversation - Long Distance Relationship Advice

Dear Miss U,

Hello! I am in a LDR and I don’t know what to do in order to keep the flame burning. I don’t want him to get bored. It’s hard because we seldom see each other. So we talk very much and that’s why I’m afraid he gets bored. What should I do to keep his interest in me? Thanks!!

Please help!
No Idea

Dear No Idea,

Why would talking to you make him bored? Because stereotypes tell you men don’t like talking? Because the media wants you to think you’re boring, with nothing interesting to say or of worth to share? Screw that noise!

What LDR gives us that other couples don’t get handed to them so neatly is a strong foundation of communication. We learn to talk to each other because often that’s all we have. Conversation might not always come easily or even naturally because, like anything, sometimes you have to work at it. It’s a skill you can master. Some people even go as far to say that conversation is an art. Well then, how do you become an artist?

Start by being educated. Learn so that you always have something new and worthwhile to share; so that you are contributing positively, not just spreading misinformation. Keep tabs on what’s happening in the world. Question it. Vary your sources. Bring these discussions to him so that you can learn together. This is perfect conversation fodder.

As hard as it can be, do things without him. Even if that means giving up a little bit of Skype time. If you are nurturing your hobbies you will always have something you are passionate about to share. If there’s something you both love, find a way to do that together too, then you can always fall back on it when conversation gets slow.

Another important thing to think about is that you don’t always need to be talking, you can be companionably silent too. Turn on your Skype (or whatever platform you use) and just let it run while you do your own thing. It’s like being in the room together. Look at other couples in your life – parents, aunts and uncles, etc. Are they talking constantly? Is every day a deep-and-meaningful? No. Sometimes it’s nice to just be in that person’s presence without the obligation to converse.

Taking into account the laws where you live, you can keep the fires burning through your intimate time too. Sometimes you aren’t going to have much to say, but hearing how attractive you are never gets old (so long as you’re not wearing out the exact same phrases every time!) Most people enjoy being desired. Lots of couples find a connection through cybersex and mutual masturbation. It’s a fall-back I recommend 100%

Beyond that, just be yourself. That’s why he’s with you. Because you ARE interesting. You are ENOUGH. Let him love you for you. As long as you don’t fall into complacency you have nothing to worry about.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

About the Author

Miss U

Miriam Cumming is a writer, witch, and LDR survivor with more than a decade of trans-Pacific experience. She’s currently living in paradise with her one true love and their three little gentlewomen where she indulges in coffee, tattoos, and World of Warcraft. You can learn more about her writing and LDR success from her blog The Wicce Writes.